10.15.05:

I got my hair streaked red and blonde. haha.

10.13.05:

I don't think I'll be typing stuff in here much cause I just got on myspace.

Here we go...

10.01.05:

Went to UB to visit Vicky's friend Adrienne who has the hots for Kristina. After driving around for what seemed like hours we finally went to Dennys. Let me tell ya that was the most fun I've had at a Dennys! The pics below are Vicky, Adrienne, Kristina, some Asian dude and Kristina's nephew (he likes posing for the camera). Click on a pic to see it bigger.

I forgot about Vicky and the Mounty from Clifton Hill.

09.25.05:

Went to Clifton Hill with Rita, Vicky and Kristina. Here are some pics. Click on the pic to see it bigger.
l

09.21.05:

Well Eugene turned out to be just like Matty and CJ had a problem with me not waiting for him. How was I supposed to know he liked me? He never told me! Okay so I had my high and now I'm hitting my lows. Last night I cried for the first time in a long time. I think I'm going to go get a tattoo or something. I keep saying I am. I wasn't even planning on piercing my belly button but I did.

09.11.05:

I went to Georgia with my gal pal Kristina so she could meet her aol boy friend Ron. I didn't get many pictures but I did get my navel pierced! Pics from Georgia...

Alex (Ron's friend Joe's kid) and Kristina's bra...lol Little Mikey (Ron's friend's youngest)...Kristina's fave. Ron and Kristina finally together! Kristina pissed cause her man is playing xbox.Ron in Wally World a.k.a. WalMart, playing xbox.

08.28.05:

Well I've met up with Eugene twice and we text message all the time. I was at his place until 3am, talked to Kristin on the phone till 4or 5am about going to Georgia and Florida in two weeks. My mom flipped out when I told her but I am the one who took the grayhound bus to Boston Mass. by myself to see an internet bf. when I was 19. So yeah I do crazy things. I haven't been on my meds in weeks and I feel awesome. My speeders class was so much fun! My last one was so boring. I got lucky this time! Lil Matty called me at 6am telling me he misses me and his friend died and he wants me to come over. I didn't go! Yay for me! I'm so sick of being used for sex!

08.19.05:

Justin was right, Matty was just using me. Then I went out with this self proclaimed millionare and he was a complete ass and that's what he wanted a piece of. So I was watching Degrassi and they revealed that Craig is bipolar. It kinda creeps me out to see how television depicits my life. Craig threw out his pills...not good. Back to reality my new buddy Kristina is trying to set me up with this dude. He's my age, he's cute, but kinda intimidating with tattoos and piercings. I'm such a goody goody. Speaking of which I have to go to driving school (again) and pay $200. Yay for speeders! So I wanted to get this tattoo but I can't get it till after I pay the ticket off.

08.02.05:

Things are looking up, or maybe I'm just being fooled again. I met Matty. He is so cute and cuddly. I've gotten to see the beautiful part of North Tonawanda where there is water and boats and lots of sea food restaurants. I also met Julie whom I've been trying to set up with Rob. Julie and I went on a girls night out on the town. It was fun. The downside, the only guys I talked to were a guy I used to work with and a guy who had his car pimped out by my dad. But then I met Matty. He's a real piece of work. I don't know if he's playing me or if he's for real. Justin says he's playing me.

07.25.05:

Being bipolar is a full time job and holding a full time job at the same time is a real challenge. I get so depressed I want to cut myself and so happy I can't believe anything is really that bad. My psychiatrist up and left his Orchard Park office with no notice and my new health insurance makes my prescription copay $100. Everything always goes bad around me I can't stand it! A good note, I work with people I can stand. A bad note I don't make enough money to live on my own, but I do have benefits and I finally get along with my parents. My mom and I go bowling. My dad takes us to the movies. They finally understand I can't help the way I am. I on the other hand still don't understand why I am the way I am.

06.27.05:

Saturday I went to my cousin's son's graduation way out in Lake Honeyoe. My aunt said my cousin might have a job for me in Florida. Would I go? Sunday I went to Sherkston Shores in Canada and spent the day on the beach with the other side of my family. I got sunburn, oooh. Played mini golf with my cousin's daughter and her friend and I actually won, woo hoo! I guess I had a fun weekend even though it was nonstop and I never got a moment to myself. It was different since in the past I would do all I could do to avoid family.

06.13.05:

Saturday night I went bowling with CJ again (my cyber crush). I'd never tried the claw vending machine until that night and I grabbed Rocky the squirrel from Rocky and Bowinkle (way before my time). So anyway here's a pic of Rocky.

I had to put a seat belt on him on the way home cause he's a fiesty little guy.

05.24.05:

My ma and I are making bowling a Sunday thing now followed by Wow Cow. I was hurting cause I went out Saturday night first with Michael then with Walter and E.J. and man did I ever drink too much. I left my car at the bar and walked to it the next morning so my Sunday bowling and Curves were greatly affected...speaking of which I actually won the prize of the week at Curves. I wonder what I get? hmm.

05.15.05:

I was gonna go midnight bowling with CJ again but, I was so tired I fell asleep. So the next day (today) I went bowling with my mom. It was so much fun. Afterwards we got some WOW COW. If only a date could go so well. CJ was my cyber crush now he's my real crush.

05.05.05:

I am so depressed and no one wants to hear it. I got new insurance with my new job and my new copay for my meds is $100. Sucks so bad.

04.30.05:

I had absolutely nothing to say to my therapist. Its a waste of money. I have a cyber crush. Since I'm not crushing on anyone around me I may as well crush on someone I can't see. Haven't been on any dates lately. Asked Janelle if she wanted to double cause this one dude wanted to bring his friend but Janelle was busy and the dude backed out. On a nicer note I am losing more inches! Yipee! So this Curves thing is really paying off.

04.19.05:

I joined Curves when I got back from Florida. I look so fat in the photos! It's been a month and I've lost inches so far so good. I went to Sarah's hot tub party even though I felt like a whale in my bathing suit. Turns out Chris proposed to her so that's pretty wild. Chris is forty something and Sarah just turned 21. Best of luck to them. I've been slacking on my bass lessons. I'm so tired all the time and don't feel like doing anything. I've gone out on a couple internet dates and they were okay but then I went on this one and the dude rejected me! I couldn't help but cry. I can not handle rejection! Good thing there aren't any cute guys at work it will keep me outta trouble. I so regret not going to prom!

04.11.05:

I'm sick of everything. I think I'm going to get back into mixing potions. I hate everybody... I started going to Curves to tone my muscles doesn't that sound like fun? I've been riding my bike too so my legs are aching. My new job is great. I can leave work and go straight to curves cause its right down the road. That's kinda cool. I'm so sick of everything.

01.21.05:

I had a job interview today. Wish me luck. I went out to dinner came home and puked. I think everything I ate today came out. Too much information? I saw the movie White Noise with this dude Dan last night. The movie wasn't that great. I was hoping they would go some where with it. Dan has a nice smile. I had dinner with Justin twice this week. He can cook! haha Oh yeah, when I was leaving Justin's some crazy guy was trying to get me to give him a ride. He said he needed gas and the gas station was closed. I told him I was going the other way, (where the gas stations were supposevely closed) and I jumped in my car and locked the doors. The gas stations were both open. I went to Rob's and saw the movie A Reqium For a Dream. (I know I spelled that totally wrong.) Anyway the movie is still disturbing me! It wasn't even a horror movie and it's freeking me out! I've gone out more this week than I have since this spring. I guess the drugs are working.

01.07.05:

Considering I had a black eye on Christmas it was still pretty cool. I spent Christmas with my family for the first time in a long time and survived! I got the Sims2 and I was psyched but so far its boring me to death. My bass lessons are getting along. I can't practice well by myself. I need someone there pointing to the notes and counting out loud! hehe Haven't been out in a while but Sara says the guys at the shop want me to come to Canada this weekend so we'll see what happens. I'm not really into older guys but it could be fun. I'm into watching Degrassi again but its always repeats! oooh why do I love that show so much? What else is new? I'm depressed as usual, need attention (according to Justin) as usual. I'm so sick of aol I actually went back on hot or not! I meet so many more hot guys that way! If you're into online dating definetely try hotornot.com. AOL guys never have pics and when they do they're scary!

12.03.04:

I feel like I can't stop eating! I've never ever had this problem before! I hate food! At least I don't cry anymore. I still feel depressed but that's who I am. I actually hung out with someone from my past whom I vowed not to see again because I was such a mess the last time I saw him. Why did I hang out with him then? I suppose I'm chancing it thinking that people can actually change. He does however make the best pizza I have had in a long time! My ex and I are hanging out too. But the best thing is what is happening at work! Okay, so it's not so good, but actually kinda funny. First there was this carpenter knocking down a wall. He kept asking me out. (Did I mention he was an older carpenter?) Then there is the upholsterer who swears he is going to marry me (older as well and with child closer to my age), and finally there is the new guy (younger) who has a girl friend, but insists on hitting on me anyway. He didn't quit until Sarah came in and asked me about my fiance'. hahahaha. That was a lot of fun. Craig (the upholsterer) wants to be my flower girl. Are you lost? I am too.